Happy Halloween!! Three years ago today, we met M for the first time. I remember when my niece called and said her friend wanted to come over to meet us and find out more about adoption. Could they come over? Who would have guessed that that little baby would be our daughter! Thank you M and D for letting us be Ava's parents.
So, after Ava got
through another major fit (3rd screaming fit of the day) & I got her calmed down, we read some
books & rocked, (one of my favorite times of the day). I put her in her bed. She sang for a while & called for me.
You know, "mommy are you? Mommy come up here. Mommy I can't find Bella. Mommy." About 11:20 pm, I
heard a little thud. You know, the kind that sounds like a little girl climbing
out of her crib. Sure enough, she did it. She's only done it when she is really mad. I went to check on her & she was hiding with a big smile on her face. I put her back in & at 11:45,
another little thud & this time little feet coming downstairs looking for me.
She had a big smile on her proud face as she said, "Mom, I climb out & find you!!" We
need a really tall gate to keep her in her room.
Could be interesting if this continues...
Wait! There's more!!!
She wanted to play but I turned out the lights & she came running. I had to go back down to get my cell phone. She needed hers, too, sigh. She came down & found it. It's an old Palm that Paul had given her. We headed back up. Finally at 12:15 am, I had to tell her that it was her last warning, she had to stop talking to me & if she didn't turn off her "phone", I was going to come & take it away for good. It was turned off in a hurry & we went to sleep.....finally.
So, yesterday I watched my nieces little girl for a few hours. As I watched B play, my thoughts turned to our birth parents. It hit me that B is the same age that Ava was when we began our adoption journey with her. Because Ava lived with her birth mom, M, from birth, this will be mostly about her. M got to see so many of the "firsts" with her. Now, I'm not upset with that, I am so grateful that they had that time together, but I do get sad that I missed out on that stuff. I couldn't imagine, as I watched B & Ava play, how difficult the decision was for M to make an adoption plan. My heart breaks when I think about it. I remember when M left. I stood in the kitchen holding Paul & Ava & crying. I was crying for her pain & for our joy. I couldn't believe how something that gives us so much joy, could cause me so much pain! I know I can never fully know what she felt or thought. I hope someday we can sit down & talk more about it. I sometimes feel like a bad adoptive mom because I haven't sent letters & pictures like I should. I hope they know it's not intentional. I guess I need to put it on my calendar as a reminder. I hope they both know how forever grateful Paul & I are that they entrusted us with this wonderful little girl that we love so much. We love them both for that gift.
We started ECFE this fall. At first, I wasn't too impressed with it but after talking with some friends, I changed my expectations. We love it now! Ava & I get to play & do awesome art projects. We decided that since we have our birth parents in our life, we could share the artwork with them! Sorry M & D, now you know what you will be getting!!!! It has been neat to see how she is interacting with other kids her age. At this age, they seem to play next to each other versus with each other.
We took Ava to Disney world in June. It was SO MUCH FUN!!!!!! Paul & I had gone 2 years ago so we got to experience it as a couple but seeing it through Ava's eyes was even better! She couldn't wait to meet Mickey. We had to hold her back until her turn so she didn't get in someone else's picture! She still talks about seeing Mickey & "Mickey's" castle, (sorry Cinderella!) We drove & she did awesome in the car. She has even asked to go back, "We go see Mickey again?" Maybe next year!